Is It Normal that My Anxiety is Worse After Having a Baby?
We expected the sleepless nights for the first couple of months. We expected the occasional diaper blowouts. We expected a learning curve as we adjust to motherhood. What we may not have expected is the overwhelming anxiety that seems to have intensified since baby. Or that sleepless nights are not just the first few months for most babies and it seems like yours can not sleep without you at all. We do not expect being on edge all the time, having scary thoughts that just seem to pop into our heads out of nowhere, constantly worrying, constant looking up symptoms, constantly seeking the best parenting strategies, looking on social media for advice, or consumed by worst-case scenarios.
You are not alone!
Many new moms experience heightened anxiety postpartum, and yes, it is normal. Worry, anxiety and doubt is normal, but what do we do if it feels like it crosses the line. Let’s break it down!
Why Anxiety Can Worsen After Having a Baby
Becoming a mom is one of the most significant and hardest life transitions you will ever experience, and with it comes an emotional rollercoaster. One of these emotional rollercoasters is the anxiety that we feel postpartum:
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Estrogen and progesterone drop drastically after birth, which can lead to mood instability and heightened anxiety.
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Chronic lack of sleep makes it harder to regulate emotions, increases irritability and lowers impulse control and can make and little anxious thought feel like a massive concern.
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The weight of caring for a tiny human can feel overwhelming, leading to constant overthinking and self-doubt. There is so much information about there about doing parenting “the right way” that if we are not doing it that way we start to spiral.
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You loose control over your schedule, your body, your hobbies and your ability to do self-care in the ways you used to.
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Your heart is now outside of your body and you do not have control over this little human no matter how hard you try. You worry about their health and safety all of the time.
Postpartum Anxiety vs. Postpartum Anxiety Disorder
It is important to recognize that in increase of anxiety is normal postpartum. You have more on your plate without an increase of time and a decreased amount of energy. It is also important to know when it crosses the line into postpartum anxiety disorder. Some level of anxiety is to be expected, but when it begins to interfere with daily life, it may be a sign of something more serious.
Normal Postpartum Worries:
Double-checking the baby monitor before bed
Feeling nervous about leaving your baby with someone else
Worrying about your baby’s health and safety but being able to calm yourself
Signs of Postpartum Anxiety Disorder:
Racing thoughts that will not stop
Persistent, uncontrollable worry that affects your ability to function
Physical symptoms like tightness in your chest, nausea, or a racing heart
Trouble sleeping even when your baby is asleep
Avoiding certain situations due to fear or anxiety
Panic attacks
If your anxiety feels relentless or is interfering with your daily life, it may be time to seek support.
Postpartum Anxiety Vs. Postpartum Depression
Sometimes, if we are feeling really anxious or spiraling all the time, it can actually be a symptom of postpartum depression. Postpartum Anxiety (PPA) and Postpartum Depression (PPD) are often mentioned together, they are distinct conditions with different symptoms:
Postpartum Anxiety (PPA):
Excessive worry or fear that feels uncontrollable
Racing thoughts and difficulty relaxing
Physical symptoms like dizziness, nausea, and heart palpitations
Trouble sleeping even when the baby is asleep
Hypervigilance and fear of something bad happening to the baby
Postpartum Depression (PPD):
Overlapping symptoms with anxiety:
Racing thoughts, Intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, constantly on edge, perfectionism, avoidance, checking rituals.
Signs it might be PPD:
Emotional numbness, irritability or rage, feeling “touched out”, guilt, withdrawing, loss of interest, appetite or sleep changes , constant thoughts like “I’m not cut out for this”, or “someone else would be a better mother for them”, lack of bonding with the baby.
When to Seek Help for Postpartum Anxiety or Depression
It is easy to dismiss postpartum anxiety as just “new mom nerves,” but if it is persistent and affecting your well-being, seeking help is essential. The number one sign of emotional wellbeing in children is their mothers mental health. Seeking support is not just for you, it is for them as well. Here are some signs it may be time to reach out to a professional:
Your anxiety feels constant and overwhelming
You are being reactive rather than responding to baby
You are getting into fights with your partner all the time and it is affecting your relationship
You are unable to relax, even when your baby is safe
You experience intrusive thoughts or fears that you can not shake
Physical symptoms (like heart palpitations or dizziness) are making daily tasks difficult
Your anxiety is interfering with your ability to bond with your baby
Postpartum anxiety is highly treatable with the right support!
How to Manage Postpartum Anxiety
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Deep breathing, meditation for even 1 minute a day, or even simply focusing on the present moment can help calm your nervous system.
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Working with a therapist trained in CBT can help you challenge anxious thoughts and develop coping skills to use in the moment.
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Lack of sleep and poor nutrition can exacerbate anxiety. Accept help when it is offered, and take care of yourself too.
Your sleep is more important than your working partner!
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Constant Googling and social media scrolling can fuel anxiety, guilt and feelings of worthlessness. Set boundaries around consuming overwhelming information, and prune your feed to make it actually feel like an escape.
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Talk to your partner, a trusted friend, or a postpartum support group. You are not alone, and sometimes just verbalizing your worries can help lessen their grip.
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Therapy and, in some cases, medication can be life-changing for postpartum anxiety. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not failure.
Only 10% of mothers seek the help that they need. It is difficult to reach out, and you are worth it!
You are not Alone!
If you are struggling with postpartum anxiety, know that you are not alone, and you are not failing. Your brain and body are adjusting to an entirely new reality, and it is okay to ask for help. Motherhood is overwhelming, but with support, time, and the right tools, it does get easier. You deserve to enjoy this time with your baby without being consumed by fear and worry. Healing is possible, you just have to take one step at a time!
Hi, I am Kristina Anzell.
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant. I work with moms and couples in the postpartum phase of life to help them move through anxiety, depression, sleep issues for you and baby, relationship struggles and more. You deserve the support you need! Please reach out if you have any questions, need resources or want to start therapy sessions with me.